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i'm devastated

My husband left unexpectedly three weeks ago and requested a divorce two weeks ago https://onlinedivorcer.com/county-specific-resources/colorado/divorce-in-mesa-county. Due to our marriage contract, there is a mandatory three-month separation period during which I still receive support, but so far he has rejected all attempts at reconciliation or closure of the relationship.

I just don't get it. It makes me think about years of marriage: how could he just walk away? How is he doing well after so many years of marriage? Did it mean nothing? Did he even love me?